Holiday Madness

I love the Autumn! The beautiful leaves, the cooler temperatures, finding all sorts of creatures in said leaves.... and Halloween!

In my family, it's tradition to overdo Halloween because we love it soo bloody much. It happens to be my favorite holiday - the fact that I can dress up in costume, be in character, and wander around like an idiot in the weirdest garb possible. It's the internal goth/nighcreature/performer in me that I LOVE to have an excuse for. =)

The first of the festivities fell on the Friday before, where my housemates decided to throw a costume bash. It always seems to happen that I'm not feeling too well on their party dates, but who bloody cares when it's my favorite time of the year? M, one of the housemates, always overdoes costumes and this year was no exception. J also decided to dress to the nines, so it was up to W and I to reciprocate! After wiring up W and her disc (took several hours, a roll of black duct tape and several wiring mishaps/groping a hot chica), I pulled together my costume in about a day, all hand sewn. About an hour after the 'official' party began, I made my appearance a Reptile from Mortal Kombat - and the party began! (awww, comeon, I'm a herper. I love Subzero, but Reptile is more badass!).

Flawless victory!

After the main picture taking, swooning over amazing costumes form other people, and general bantering, the real party was underway. There was some amazing food brought in by other people and quite a horde of boozing going on. Me, as usual, was the sober one keeping tabs on the drunkenness.... and I have to admit failure on a few accounts because the party ended up winding down at about 2 when two housemates were drunk enough to be sick and a few of the other grad students weren't that far behind. Lesson learned? Yup... clean out my bloody car well in advance of the next hosted party. B, a sweetheart in my lab and one of the few who don't drink period, donated his car for the cause, and we got everyone home in one piece.

Stories of the night? I got quite a few complements on my costume (3rd in the overall best category - J won that one), got to get video of me doing my ninja thing (thank heaven for Martial Arts belts), got video of B and I grappling/fighting (he always underestimates me), got complemented on my ninja moves, got to see W drunk (which never happens) enough to be loving on B and I, and was swooned over for making W's costume work awesome-sauce (she won the sexiest category). Also, we learned that cats do not make good costume wearers - Nian cat was mortified. Overall - a good night even though we were worried by some of the boozed over people.

Fatality!

 W as Cora from Tron

 All the housemates/hosts. J as Kakashi from Naruto, W as Cora from Tron, M as Leeloo from Fifth Element, and myself as Reptile

 B and his gorgeous wife

The month of blah (with some upsides)

It's that time of year again - the one where everything needs done three weeks ago and I'm behind in just about everything. I'm looking at mounds of grading, PhD applications, my own homework, the thesis, and my business...  and kink has (kinda) fallen to the wayside. It not-in-the-good-way-sucks because I could use some honest to goodness stress relief. Thank heavens for the Halloween party, or else I'd be pulling hair out left and right.

There has been some fun to be had, though.

The Seven Deadly Sins was a blast in that I've never actually seen a burlesque troupe before. True it got boring after the half, but it was fun with the group I met there and I got to see one of my former students and catch up on a not scholarly level - and meet his wife. Those two are amazingly awesome and I'm hoping to build a good friendship (kink and not) in the short time I'm here. It's amazing to find like-minded people in a conservative place where I'm constantly watching my ass to make sure I'm not in trouble. Life's a bit better when there's  good group of people that you can just relax with, you know? The bigger that group gets, the easier it is for me. Angel and Kat are on that list, as now are Alpha and Milli. I'm hoping to meet Spider and her master soon...

After that fun, I was cajoled into going to a MAsT meeting. Now, I'm not a slave. I have a bit of a hard time (read into that as a REALLY hard time) submitting to someone completely due to a bunch of past garbage that's better off in the closet, locked away, fifteen continents over and in a huge trash dumpster next to a rotten can of tomatoes. I like the ability to say 'fuck no' and have it mean something. Maybe it's my ancestor Susan B Anthony in me a bit, or maybe I'm channeling my advisor that's a hardcore feminist, but I don't think that I'm comfortable with the whole slavery thing for myself. I am interested in the mindset, though, even though it knocks at the internal demons. I have the mindset for submission and body service - it's just locked in a negative place because of what's happened to me. That's why, for now, I'll remain in the classification of 'bottom' because, while here, I'm safe. I don't have to look at the demons. I don't have to fall into the negative and hurtful place. I can wait for the Dom/me that understands that I'm not a healthy person and I need a special understanding. I need patience with the firm hand. I need someone who knows to quit suddenly, back up, and let it go for a while. Most of all, I need someone that can recognize what I am VERY good at hiding and whack it (and me) into better shape. Until then, bottom it is.

So, I was really hesitant, albight curious, about MAsT because I'm not looking to be a slave. But, as most things usually happen, it's a carrot on a stick leading into the unknown that might cause something good to happen. I'm ok with an open mind and a bit of thought - and good friends that can watch my ass if I'm in an unknown place. I went with Alpha and Milli where I didn't have a clue what to expect except the topic of conversation - your favorite protocol. Ok, then.

We did speak of many things and I met some very interesting people. We touched on topics of conversation that made me uncomfortable (which is really hard to do), but I felt... at peace. For some reason, be it someone there or the place, or just everyone, I was happy to be on the floor and subservient.  I was happy to be the willing demonstration guinea pig (although embarrassed to admit that I'd read her protocol in interest when She was surprised to find that I knew what She asked when She used me to demonstrate Her gesture commands). It shook me a bit that I liked being in that place, and that I had a 'connection' (as in wanted to serve while there - not permanent, but... there was something about the energy?) with one of the Ma'am's there. I didn't like that I didn't have a Master/Mistress to look to, but... who cares anyway? It was very nice of Alpha to keep checking up on me and asking my opinion - I was a bit depressed that I couldn't answer very well because I was in the mode of 'be in the place at that time and think later'. Probably because I was shaken by how much I.... fit? I'm still attempting to grasp it all, and I'm looking forward to heading out again this month to see if it works that way again. I'm just hoping that I can find the damn place. Humph.

Later that weekend (like the next day), I ended up in a not-so-happy place. I agreed to be tied up in ground ties for a local Dom here to practice his rope work. The rules? My shorts stayed on. It was an interesting time for being bound in the first actual constrict binding but I just was NOT comfy. I don't know exactly what it is about him, but I was on pins and needles the whole time and fought back verbally even though he played by the rules and didn't take advantage at all. He brought me through violet wand basics and what it feels like, teased with a frozen rope, bound me up with his jute rope and was respectful with everything he did. I just had the red flag go off the whole time in my head, and even if I'm one of those to heed it, I really don't have any idea why. I think I made him think a bit with what I was saying - he thought I was a switch because I was pulling out a bit of channeled Dom. I'm sorry to say it, because I KNOW he wasn't going to do anything stupid and it would be a good opportunity to be tied, but.... I don't think I'll be back. I heed the red flags too much and they were screaming. Time to bow out, say 'sorry, thanks, but no thanks' and be on my merry way.

A few weeks (almost a month) later, and I'm sitting here still confused about most everything. I'm looking forward to some nice stress relief in a party or two and prospects of just hanging out when I'm not up to my eyeballs in chaos. I guess that has to be enough?

Oh, for anyone interested in answering - I've got a conundrum. I have a costume for my own party at my house (Reptile from Mortal Kombat) that I'm not sure would work at a play Halloween bash. I also have some glow EL wire to go as a program in TRON... Any suggestions as to what everyone would like to see? =)

One Hell of a good day. =)

First good news from today proper? I'm in a class (as a student) called 'Principals of Organic Evolution.' Sounds long, boring, and dreary, right? Yup, it is. I got my first exam back today, however, and I have 105%! Awesome!



As to earlier (as in last evening) - that requires a little backstory.

Let's travel back in time to late July-ish. There was a week in there where I ended up sitting backwards on a chair with needles in my back, a cute chica trailing ice everywhere (on my back, we were keeping it clean!), her master playing with the piercings and I went between spaced out and squirming in bliss. Yea, about that time.

You see, I hadn't had any real kink done to me before in that type of setting. Sure, I'd been a part of fetish nights at 'local' clubs (they were local for me at the time) and seen the androgens in their PVC. Hell, I even vend there sometimes. I'd been to Dark Nirvana and watched very scantily clad people enjoying their personal pleasures from knives to flagellation to  electricity and needle play. Me, at the time, the most I'd gotten into was a bit of ice and... well... that was pretty much it. Except the surprise 'fun' when they used TENS units on me when I was injured in Track in undergrad. Anyway, I didn't expect to be able to fall into the mindset in a positive way SO EASY!

Moving along a week later, I'm up north vending at Dystopia for a fetish night when my business partner's out getting a friend of ours (or our display slut =D ) suspended. My business partner is an absolute pain slut - a true to the bone masochist. She sneaks up on me as I'm talking to another person (I think it was one of the rope goddesses?) and gives me 'the look.' You know the one. The one where she's serious and you could end up in deep shit if you don't think about what you're saying next. She asks me if I'd like to be beat. As in whipped. I looked over her shoulder to see a Dom that we'd talked about earlier and had roughed her up a little. One that's a sweetheart yet a sadist and that she has high recommendations of in the trust department. I'd never been whipped for pleasure - only for pain and punishment as a kid (but that's another story). I guess it's a bit funny that I actually said yes.

I ended up with my wrists bound to a wide post, bent over, and smacked rather nicely with two types of (floggers? eh.) - a dragon's tongue and a softer leather flogger. Whatever I expected, whatever I thought I'd have to do (bite my tongue, drop into my safe box internally and zone, whatever to take pain until I really DID NOT LIKE IT) it was NOT what I was prepared for. I thought I was a sensation slut - not a masochist at all. Sure I have a high pain tolerance, but that doesn't mean I like pain.... which has since been revised to a sensation whore with some interest in masochism. Apparently I don't mind the right kind of pain. Hm.

So, the past month or two have been interesting in that I've been growing into the idea of other kinks more and more. I'm just not one to go out and find some Dom/me (or top) to sweep me away to torture me to the end of time. Not only does that not happen often, but I can't even get a date in the 'real' world. I shouldn't think that going into the magical, fairy 'kink-land' is going to drop anyone other than the usual creepers I get (and drop[kick]) out in vanilla world. That and, as a 'n00b,' I have every right to be afraid of other n00bs in higher power. I know that experimentation is all fine and dandy until one of us (and probably me) ends up on the bad end of an unsafe kink practice back-hand. Remember, I only am liking the RIGHT kind of pain. One that doesn't mean permanent damage/death/long term injury. Hence me choosing people that I feel are experienced in what they do, know it well, and have responsibility about them. (for most of them anyway - I'm going to be a rope test subject this weekend for some ground ties - and I have no problem telling him that he's making me tingly - so undo the rope!)

Whelp, last night I got to meet Quinn around here, who was down from Toledo. Yea, the Dom who gave me my first [oh-so-good] beating. =)
He works in a position that has him traveling all over the US and into surrounding countries, so when he said he'd be here.... I was more than happy to say hello, welcome him to this side of the continent, and entertain for an evening away from his wife (yup, you guessed it, poly) and home. Sure, I was nervous. I had NO idea what to expect and had no experience in that kind of a deal..... so I sucked it up and went with it. We met at a Panera where I ate light and grabbed coffee because I'd been grading papers and teaching underlings all day.

We spent five and a half hours outside smoking and talking about everything under the sun. Kink, politics, religion, remodeling houses, jobs and work, you name it. I had an absolute blast with a true, caring, sadist, gentleman Dom. I'm remaining cautious, but.... I can see a fun time coming as a play-mate without the sex. They may be poly, but I'm... unsure. And a virgin. But if he offers to bring out the whips? I'll work a bit on his house projects for a weekend for that. =)

Welcome?

Because of the sudden influx of things to write about that were of... a sensitive? nature, I moved this wonderful thing of randomness over to an e-mail that does NOT have my actual name attached. Now I don't have the excuse to not write because of professional interests, etc. As such, I'll keep my business and personal lives separate, blah blah blah. So, on to the posting!

What a week!

A tornado swept through the past week and a half, I swear. Did anyone get the number of that run-away elephant?

First off, I should mention that I quit my job with my last day being this past Thursday. The rate at which they were working me and my aptitude to never say 'no' was wearing thin with school on the horizon - of which I'm glad I can pretend to breathe. That being said... who says I can actually do so?

I believe it was last Thrusday or Friday when things got all interesting (as in week before this past). After work, I went to a TNG munch where we had an absolute blast! Greasy pizza, good friends with similar interests, in a pickle (which I SWEAR Bri still hates me for blocking her more often than not... sorry!)... I can't wait for the next get-together that I can attend. =)

Random story of the day: While playing In a pickle and just chillaxing, an officer rounded the corner. Me, being in an odd location to see people entering the room, looked up as some of the rest of the group got quiet. The cop looked at us, flashed a huge and goofy grin, and said "Oh, shit, it's the cops!" After the giggling and chuckling died down, we went back to our game, which caused MANY odd looks in our direction due to some dirty minds. After a short spat about really big spiders, he left us to our random mutterings and gameplay. I admit, I admire uniforms more if they can joke openly with people... reminds me of the sherriff that I lived next-door to as a kid.

Anywho, after that, Bri, Panda and I re-convened at their place for a random get-together. Me, I was slightly nervous because I had NO idea what was in store. Being the ever-perfect host, Bri had me pick the entertainment of the evening, which I settled on "pick your favorite non-porn movie." After a bit of debate on the meaning of "non-porn," we settled down to watch The Secretary. Damn, what an INTERESTING film! (and not just because I'm a kinky little bastard)


More happened, but I'll have to get on with that when I'm not about to drive 5 hours.... =)
SUSPENSE!

A bit of a storm

Thunderstorms after a long, hot day. So much for me moving things to my car anymore tonight.... I'm going to use some of the last days in my old (and single occupancy) apartment!

Let it be known that I do like pain - in the sense of clamps, weights, tugging, and ice. I've never, however, tried candles or wax play. This should prove enlightening, considering it'll be nice to broaden the world of sensation play that I do enjoy.



Later on that evening -

Let it be said that trying strange things upon yourself is... interesting. Loved the wax, loved the sensation, and had a hard time with the mental part of it all because I was more worried about burning the house down. Heh.


Goes to show that I should keep the experimentation to a minimum unless there's a responsible adult around, right?

A Month Went By Fast

Good lord has a month just flown by without me realizing it. This is, perhaps, because of all of the busy endeavors that I've gotten myself into. On to the lists!

1. Still working insane hours of overtime at Subway.Whohoo!
2. We now have a house in town, literally down the street from school. Working and moving? Yea, fun time.
3. Mom's birthday, and them visiting to give me a bed last week
4. Attempting to get stuff done for a business while moving and working. AHHH!
5. Thinking about how to get my thesis done - which might mean NOT working in August.
6. Wedding - Congrats B and J! That was a very interesting weekend that I'll have to go into detail about that in the next post?... Thanks W for letting me drive your car!
7. Because my car [Baby Girl] is being an idiot on and off again. *sigh*
8. Fourth of July!!! Worked (which sucked), and then had an adventure. I'll get into that in a later post, which might be a short essay. =)
9. Still no internet at home, which would actually mean that I could get on here more. Or perhaps that's just an excuse for me not getting my lazy behind into the lab where I DO have internet. Hm.

Needless to say, it's been INSANE. On that note, I still need to kick on the journaling and all that. Expect some interesting insights within the next few weeks...

Good news? I get to go to a picnic on Saturday. Huzzah!!!