Today at work I had the most interesting situation and conversation with one female customer. It began with her asking me for a wet rag to clean one of the tables with, which I was more than happy to go into the back, grab our bottle of sanitizer and a new rag, and clean off the table. Instead, she grabbed the items from me, wiped down the table herself, and handed back the implements. I began my chores in earnest because I was behind and hustled off to make tea. A few moments later, I realized that that customer and Libby had struck up a conversation about food service and cleanliness - how people are more likely to be absolute slobs when they go out to eat compared to when at home. She remarked about people that are also ALWAYS that terrible with stuff everywhere and how it could be laziness. Me, I'm a disorganized mess but took it at face value because I do realize my mess IS caused in part by a lazy attitude to my space.
Anyway, shortly after, when I was man-handling the garbage in the lobby and she and the person she was with were seated and eating, I looked up and our eyes locked. I gave her a pained smile (I don't know why, but I just wasn't all that... happy.. today, you know?) and hefted the bag. I broke first by looking down as I always do with eye contact - it's a submissive habit from many years ago and a few bad experiences. What she said next about floored me.
"Even if it's cleaning, taking out the trash - do it with pride. Take out the trash with a high head and a smile."
I smiled, muttered some nonsense about strength and being proud to BE strong enough to lift the bags (they are sizable) and scurried off to the back.
I wanted to ask if she was in the 'life' because that sounded like advice from a Mistress or from a sub mentor and it just felt like it fit. I didn't get the chance and I didn't have the courage. No matter......I've heard people say, for years, that subs are proud even while they kneel; that even menial workers are proud while they do the jobs that most others won't touch. I've never felt the connection with them if only because I'm NOT proud in who I am. I've always been ashamed in one aspect or another of who or what I am. Instead of doing things in pride of myself, I always look for approval while not expecting any. I don't know why a mysterious stranger eating and speaking with the staff at a local Subway has the power of a few choice phrases to really rock me for a loop where others couldn't dream to touch, but...
Thank you. You've made me stop and think long and hard despite an 11 hour work day. I pray for the best for you and yours - and I hope I may see you and recognize you again to thank you and perhaps gleam some more wisdom.
September Posts
10 years ago
