My house tends to be rather nuts.
J has her birthday today (Huzzah!), which means we had another insane party at our place this past weekend. I didn't expect to be able to go, but students kept me in office hours for way too damn long, so it was pointless to drive up to the thesis lab site that evening. In five minutes I had to come up with a costume for the theme of the party so I could be the DD and party control. Hmmmm.... internet memes?
Box Gundam!
I can't find a big enough box.
A Wild X Appears!
Meh, how would I pull that friggin' off?
I Fucking Love Cocaine
Nah, not enough snow.
Feel Like a Sir
No top hat or monocle.
Not A Fuck was Given....
..... that might work......
My Little Pony IRL
.
.
.
YES!
So I grab the cyber dreads, the black eyeliner, the wool dread-heads, the goth wear, and the stash of ponytail holders and get to work. Unfortunately, there are no photos of the end result (dammit), but it was rather epic - except noone got it. If I were at a kink party, I have a feeling everyone would have raised eyebrows and the Dom/mes would have grabbed the bit gags. Seriously.
I have long and thick enough hair that with four ponytails in a row down my head and the multi-color dreads accenting, I had a full mane that would make a Frisian proud. Bell bottom black pants, the wool anchored as a tail, a black heart painted on my cheek. Yes. I was a fucking pony and was ready to go show off. Pet would have been proud.
After the party ramped up and I got the 'what the hell ARE you?' out of the way, I had so much enthusiasm and energy I ended up prancing around the house... and got requests to snort, stamp, and generally act like a horse. I've done so much horse work cleaning stalls that it was easy and entertaining. =)
Unfortunately, there was some problems at the party as well. We had a few over-drink (which isn't surprising), and a few of them we didn't know how to handle because they're usually in the 'I'll only have one or two and stop' category. I was unaware the housemate that's attached with someone (I'm calling him Boyfriend) in my lab has an open relationship and he's one that we didn't know how to manage. I was out of the crowd control gig the moment I had to step out and away from the party because of what he did......
*sigh*
There are two or three women in the GA crowd that catch my eye and I'd be after them in a heartbeat if I stood a flipping chance. One's a vagina-phobe. I'm serious, she's not homo-phobic in any way, shape or form - she doesn't care about that. She's scared to death of vaginas and loves penis way too much, so she'd never hook up with another girl. Mk, no problem, we'd clash personality wise anyway, but it's still a fun daydream to think of a one night stand.
Another one is straight, although she has sisters that are all gay or bi. *shrug* She was also taken... or up until recently, I found out while she was toasty. No big deal, I can dream and hold in my comments when she's holding the Hitachi wand against her back for a massage (No shit, she did this while drunk at the party. Then had the nativity to NOT get it and try to get me over there with a "come on, ***my name***, it feels so good!"). She's a tease when she's drunk, but it's manageable and I can usually control myself enough to STFU.
The last one's straight (so I think?) and native beyond the beyond. Blushes brick red around any form of suggestive activity... you get it. She lives her life in her bubble of work, but she has enough common interests with me that it's always a fun conversation. God damn, what I wish I could do with this one... and she can move/dance (martial arts, dance training, etc), so she's also one hell of a tease. I don't have the close fiend tie with her like I do with numero dos, so I'm harder to control around this chiqua. Usually I can manage.... although the urge to join spin the bottle with number two and three was almost my downfall at the last party. Instead I played voyeur.
Except Number three got drunk this time enough to let go. The usual Tool tried, but he couldn't get anywhere fast 'cause she knows how to put up with his shit. I'm keeping tabs on the outside when I hear Boyfriend and Number three are locked up in a housemate's room - which I think is no big deal 'cause Boyfriend is taken and Number 3's almost a saint, or at least a prude. Yea, no, housemate, Boyfriend and Number three are actually talking about 'options' because of the open relationship. They come out (no one knows what was going on except that clothes stayed on, so no big deal). I'm talking to Number two about her hitachi experience in the kitchen with Number 3 in presence.. until Boyfriend comes up, whispers in Number 3's ear, kisses her seductively, then asks if that was ok. She stumbles back with a dreamy look on her face and says she 'has to think about it'.
I almost fucking lost it. I almost.... almost.... knocked the fucker out. Instead I think I turned three shades of white, two of pink, then strolled out of the house.
It wasn't the poly aspect that got me... I know people that are poly and happy and it doesn't bother me in the slightest. Hell, if I were at a kink party, it would be normal and I'd be absolutely peachy. That's the thing - it wasn't a kink event and Number 3's not kinky. JealousMonster! decided it was time to let out the rest of the monster and I had one hell of a fight holding on to the reigns on myself. In my mind it was like I'm a starving African child and some overweight bastard walks up to the locked up bag of Doritos, reaches right in 'cause they can, and eats the whole bag. Fuck no. I know I don't have a chance, but you don't have to fucking smear my nose in it. Not when you already have one good thing in your life. Fuck you. Fuck you, girls, for teasing me more than I can stand (although unknowingly), and fuck you, sir, for playing the field of impossible for someone like me.
Yes, I walked out of the party and cooled down enough to shove the monster back in the box. It came out on my face a few times later that evening when Two and Three continued to unwittingly push the 'tease' button throughout the night and I got a few questions from a few other people as to if I was ok... but I kept myself in check until 6 am when the last of everyone got their happy asses home. Three hours of sleep later, I chatted with Number 2 (yea, she's one of my housemates) without a verbal filter (but the mental one was still in check - huzzah!) and I dove myself up to thesis-place in time to get some testing done.
Good God, I could use a drink. Except I have an allergic reaction to something in booze. But I could use a drink. Or a sledgehammer to the head. Or something.
